Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Sexual Attraction ? Addiction or Intimacy? - Recent Comments

Megan asked the following queries in a single of our phone sessions: More than and more than, when Im actually attracted to a man and I sleep with him fairly early in the relationship, I find out that he is not very good husband material. What am I performing wrong? Am I just attracted to the wrong type of males?

This is a frequent query from my single ladies customers.

Megan, several guys know how to project sexual power in a way that arouses women. These males define their worth by their sexuality and by their potential to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a lady ? its an power that they are putting out that goes appropriate into your genitals and makes you think that something real and critical is occurring. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy.

So what must I be performing when I really feel that potent sexual attraction?

You need to be telling yourself that this feeling doesnt mean something that its just an energy that is getting projected onto you but has absolutely nothing to do with adore, intimacy, caring, or marriage. True, long-lasting relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon very first meeting someone, there is a great possibility that this man just desires a sexual encounter with you rather than a true relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not have sex early in a connection, even if you are really attracted.

Well, when do you have sex?

When you really feel emotionally intimate. When you trust each and every other and really care about every single others wellbeing. When you know that the feelings are not just sexual, and that the sexuality is coming from the emotional intimacy rather than from a sexual addiction. Why not wait till there is a commitment to the connection and to studying and developing with each other? How often have you slept with a man that you were truly attracted to and then had the connection not work out?

A lot more usually than Im willing to admit. This is what keeps taking place. So are you saying that I must also go out with men that Im not right away attracted to?

Yes, if you like them. Frequently, sexual attraction grows as you actually get to know a person. A lot of of my clientele with the greatest relationships are people who had been not right away attracted to every single other. The attraction grew as they fell in enjoy with every other. Other people, who were attracted instantly, lost their attraction as they got to know the individual.

A lot of men can have sex and then just move on without any inner turmoil. But many women feel connected to a man when they have sex with him and then feel awful when the relationship doesnt perform out. It is unloving to yourself to sleep with a man early in the connection and then run the danger of being dumped simply because all he wanted was sex.

Yet another element is that sex with out emotional intimacy is usually disappointing for each people. When you have sex also early in a connection, it could not be emotionally or physically satisfying. When sex is not an expression of enjoy, it usually feels empty, and then the guy could determine that you are not the appropriate individual for him due to the fact there were no fireworks. But if you had waited for love to develop, it may have been great. You truly have nothing at all to lose by waiting.

But, replied Megan, I often consider that a man wont like me if I dont have sex with him.

Properly, if you doesnt like you for not obtaining sex with him, what does this tell you about him?

I guess it tells me that he is not excellent husband material.

Proper! So you have nothing at all to shed by not getting sex correct away.

Okay, I see that now. I see that what Ive been undertaking is never ever going to lead to marriage. Im going to place sex on the back burner and spend more attention to caring and intimacy.

Megan fully changed her pattern with males and within a year she was engaged to be married.

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Source: http://kateuptonsite.com/sexual-attraction-addiction-or-intimacy/

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